We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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