omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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