The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
