If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
