yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
