3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
