so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And then he peed in my hair
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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