I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize