White coat. Heels.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
