Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
