My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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