Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
