Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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