Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
