Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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