I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
