we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
