YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
