In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
