And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
