let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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