I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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