We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
