she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
