you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
