I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
