He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
