I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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