i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
