He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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