put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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