Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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