We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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