What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize