wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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