Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
