Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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