I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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