Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
