# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
