Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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