dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
