my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize