1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
