Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize