the day after is always just damage control
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
