You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
BRING THE BAGELS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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