I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize