You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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