Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How does it feel to date your dad?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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