So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize