the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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