youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize