it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
