never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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