Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hippo gnu deer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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