I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
