Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can i not drive my cunt home
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize