I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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