I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
