She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
