what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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