just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
