So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
