i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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