My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
