Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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