On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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