Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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