im drinking this country out of the recession.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i dont even know how to be here
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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