I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
