did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
