I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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