Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
