I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
