Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
