dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think people are normalizing furries
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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