i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
