why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
